Living the Dream

Two weeks ago, I took a leap of faith and launched Growing Minds Counselling and Consulting full-time. At 55, I’ve dreamed about being a therapist in private practice and writing an inspirational blog for a long time. 

Thank you for tuning in to read my first post!

Even though I've dreamed of this for years, sitting down to write was surprisingly difficult. Writer’s block hit me like a brick wall. I showed up, ready to connect and share, but each time my fingers hovered the keyboard nothing happened. My thoughts would scatter, and I’d find myself staring at a blank screen. 

After a while, I stepped back and asked myself what was really going on. That's when I realized, there it was again: Anxiety. That uncomfortable, critical voice was in control causing me to shut down and second guess myself. What if I’d say the wrong thing? What if no one would care? What if I What if. What if. What if. 

Anxiety.

So I made a decision. I could let anxiety stop me, or I could acknowledge it and keep going. I chose to move forward. I pulled out the same tools I encourage my clients to use and gave myself permission to write, imperfectly and honestly. 

So here I am - sharing this first blog with you.

My name is Alisa Farina. I'm a Registered Clinical Counsellor and a Canadian Certified Counsellor with a lifelong passion for mental health. For over 30 years, I’ve supported people across ages in schools and university, a psychiatric hospital, a youth detention facility, and community outreach settings. Each of these roles had one thing in common: a therapeutic bond built on trust, empathy, and shared understanding that fosters and facilitates client-driven change.  

The impact of this work truly is reciprocal. I've been humbled by the stories people have shared and the vulnerabilities they've felt safe enough to express. Over the years, I’ve gained insight that goes far beyond diagnoses and textbooks. I've gained insight into what it's like for others to live with anxiety, depression, and trauma day in and day out, sometimes for years. I've also learned the courage it takes to persuade change, even when it feels impossible. 

There’s a model I often share with clients called the Stages of Change by Prochaka and DiClemente. It outlines the six steps we go through when making any behavioural change. Whether it’s applying for a new job, trying to show up differently in our lives, or writing a first blog. And, if you experience setbacks along the way, these steps will help to get you back on track. 

• Precontemplation - At this stage, it feels like there is no problem. Everything seems fine as it is. There's nothing about myself or my life that needs to change. Even if I dislike my job, wish I could show up differently, or want to write a blog, I convince myself that change is unnecessary. 

• Contemplation - Whether triggered from a difficult day, a moment of inspiration, or self-reflection, I realize I need to make a change BUT (and this is a big but) there's nothing I can do about it, and even if I could; I'm not sure it would make a difference. I tell myself I'm fine as I am and I convince myself that I won't change anything. 

• Preparation - This stage involves a shift in mindset. I acknowledge that I need to change, and I begin to develop an action plan. Whether it's setting a date for change or applying for that new job, change is on the horizon.

• Active - Finally, we reach the action stage, where I actively embrace change. I take concrete steps to make change happen today. 

• Maintenance - The maintenance stage is a lengthy process, often filled with detours and obstacles. To successfully maintain my change, I need to seek out support, create a routine, and a long-term action plan.

• Relapse - Now, this is what I appreciate most about this model; it acknowledges relapse as a natural part of the change journey rather than an endpoint. Relapse is a setback we can recognize, address, and overcome. If we relapse (as we often do), I can return to the model, identify the stage that fits my current situation, and begin again by reworking my plan and reinforcing my support system until I reach my goals.

The Stages of Change is exactly what helped me move through my own resistance to writing. I was stuck in the contemplative stage - wanting to start but holding back. Once I began planning and preparing, I could finally sit down to write this. And now, I get to celebrate the action of hitting “publish”. Going forward, I’ll create a plan to keep writing regularly and stay connected to this dream. 

If you’re feeling stuck somewhere between wanting to change and knowing how to make it happen, I’d love to support you. Whether you’re in the early stages of reflection or working hard to maintain progress, you are not alone. 

You can book a free 30-minute consultation or learn more about my work by visiting Growing Minds Counselling and Consulting. Let’s talk about what meaningful change could look like for you.

Let's talk

If there were no barrier in your way what would you change?