Five Ways to Reframe a Harsh Inner Voice

Imagine it’s a beautiful summer day and you’re walking around your favorite lake with your best friend. In a moment of vulnerability your friend turns to you and asks, “What do you really think of me?”

Without hesitation, you answer, “Honestly, you’re just not interesting enough. You’re really not brave enough and you’re definitely not smart enough. You’re just not... enough.”

Bewildered, you stop walking and look at the reflection in the water below. All you can see is

you.

If left unchecked, our inner voice can hold us back, preventing us from believing in ourselves

and achieving our dreams. Whether it's having the self-confidence to nail a job interview, asking someone special for a first date, or bravely stepping into the spotlight, our inner critic often shows up at the most inconvenient times.

Many of us have been listening to this judge for so long, we hardly even notice it’s there. For

many of us, this judge rarely leaves our side. It just follows us around humming constantly in the background, telling us over and over again, “We are not enough.”

Our judge is our inner critic. Whether it’s promoting self-blame to make sense of our world or

keeping us from an uncertain future, our judge has one job - to protect us.

The problem is, it isn’t protecting us at all.

Five ways to reframe a harsh inner voice.

1. Acknowledge it. What would happen if we tuned in, turned up the volume, and

listened? What if we thanked our inner judge for trying to protect us and then let it know,

“I’ve got it from here.”

2. Refocus. Take a moment and some mindful breaths. Connect with your body. Bring

yourself to the present. Reflect on your thoughts. And, let them go. Recognizing that

thoughts are just...thoughts.

3. Become your own bestie. What if we turned our inner critic into our best friend? What if

we thought and then came to believe, “I am interesting enough. I am brave enough. I am

smart enough.”

4. Believe in yourself. Take two hours or two minutes journaling once a day, every day

with this journal prompt: How my positive inner voice helped me today. Read your

journal often.

5. Let yourself shine. Being your bestie means believing in and encouraging yourself. It

means seeing opportunity in setbacks and the possibility in tomorrow. Being your own

best friend means believing, “I am enough” and letting your authentic self shine.

If you let yourself shine, how would your life be different than it is right now?

When you let yourself shine, how will your life be different than it is right now?

Stay tuned for more of this four part series -

Part 1: Inside Chatter

Part 2: Five Ways to Reframe a Harsh Inner Voice

Part 3: What Happens When you Start Speaking Kindly to Yourself

Part 4: How to Teach Kids to Develop a Positive Inner Voice

About the Author:

Alisa Farina is a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC), a Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC), and the Founder of Growing Minds Counselling and Consulting. She holds a Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology with Distinction, a Bachelor of Arts in Child and Youth Care, and a diploma in special education. With over 30 years of experience in special education, youth work, and counselling, Alisa brings insight, passion, and real world understanding to her work.

When do you let yourself shine? Let us know in the comments or share this blog with a friend who might find it useful.