Growing Minds Blog
Five Ways to Reframe a Harsh Inner Voice
By Alisa Farina · July 11, 2025
Imagine it is a beautiful summer day and you are walking around your favourite lake with your best friend. In a moment of vulnerability your friend turns to you and asks, “What do you really think of me?”
Without hesitation, you answer, “Honestly, you are just not interesting enough. You are really not brave enough and you are definitely not smart enough. You are just not… enough.”
Bewildered, you stop walking and look at the reflection in the water below. All you can see is you.
If left unchecked, our inner voice can hold us back, preventing us from believing in ourselves and achieving our dreams. Whether it is having the self-confidence to nail a job interview, asking someone special for a first date, or bravely stepping into the spotlight, our inner critic often shows up at the most inconvenient times.
Many of us have been listening to this judge for so long, we hardly even notice it is there. For many of us, this judge rarely leaves our side. It just follows us around, humming constantly in the background, telling us over and over again, “We are not enough.”
Our judge is our inner critic. Whether it is promoting self-blame to make sense of our world or keeping us from an uncertain future, our judge has one job: to protect us.
The problem is, it is not protecting us at all.
Five ways to reframe a harsh inner voice
Acknowledge it.
What would happen if we tuned in, turned up the volume, and listened? What if we thanked our inner judge for trying to protect us and then let it know, “I have got it from here.”
Refocus.
Take a moment and some mindful breaths. Connect with your body. Bring yourself to the present. Reflect on your thoughts. And let them go. Recognizing that thoughts are just… thoughts.
Become your own bestie.
What if we turned our inner critic into our best friend? What if we thought and then came to believe, “I am interesting enough. I am brave enough. I am smart enough.”
Believe in yourself.
Take two hours or two minutes journaling once a day, every day, with this journal prompt: how my positive inner voice helped me today. Read your journal often.
Let yourself shine.
Being your bestie means believing in and encouraging yourself. It means seeing opportunity in setbacks and possibility in tomorrow. Being your own best friend means believing, “I am enough,” and letting your authentic self shine.
When you let yourself shine, how will your life be different than it is right now?
Stay tuned for more of this four-part series:
- Part 1: Inside Chatter
- Part 2: Five Ways to Reframe a Harsh Inner Voice
- Part 3: What Happens When You Start Speaking Kindly to Yourself
- Part 4: How to Teach Kids to Develop a Positive Inner Voice
About the Author
Alisa Farina is a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC), a Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC), an EMDR-trained therapist, and the Founder of Growing Minds Counselling and Consulting. She holds a Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology with Distinction, a Bachelor of Arts in Child and Youth Care, and a Diploma in Special Education. With over 30 years of experience in education, youth work, and counselling, Alisa brings deep compassion, insight, and real-world understanding to her writing and her therapy sessions.