Growing Minds Blog
Inside Chatter
By Alisa Farina · June 6, 2025
Imagine you are on a date with someone you really like. In a moment of silence, they reach across the table and say, “I have got something to tell you.”
Is your first thought, “They are probably breaking up with me,” or is it, “They are going to tell me what I mean to them?”
Our inner voice can be a valuable friend, helping us recognize the positivity around us, guiding us towards our goals, providing bursts of motivation, and enhancing our self-esteem and self-confidence.
But it can also be our harshest critic. This inner critic tends to focus on the negative, keeping us stuck in a limiting mindset and distorting our view of the world. It points out our mistakes, prevents us from moving on from them, and ultimately restricts our self-belief and our ability to take action.
If your inner voice sounds like “I can’t do that,” “It’s too difficult,” or “I’m not smart enough, pretty enough, or good enough,” wouldn’t you be less likely to try to reach your goals? Or maybe, not even set those goals in the first place?
Left unchecked, your inner critic can hold you back and cast a dark shadow over how you see yourself. Thinking of yourself as less than, you might shy away from others as you move away from your hopes, dreams, and aspirations.
How can I work with my inner voice?
The first step is to tune in and listen to what your inner voice is saying.
If it is supportive, amplify that voice and listen deeply.
If it is critical, try flipping the switch to change the conversation.
We can switch our mindset by becoming our own best friend. By believing in ourselves, prioritizing our needs, and offering ourselves acceptance, encouragement, forgiveness, and compassion.
Imagine how it would feel to say, “I can,” instead of “I can’t,” and “I am,” instead of “I’m not.”
A positive inner voice can move us from where we are to where we want to be.
Would you like to learn how to be your own best friend? Reach out to Growing Minds and book a free 30-minute consultation with Alisa Farina today. Visit www.growingmindscounselling.com to learn more.
Stay tuned for more of this four-part series:
- Part 2: Five Ways to Reframe a Harsh Inner Voice
- Part 3: What Happens When You Start Speaking Kindly to Yourself
- Part 4: How to Teach Kids to Develop a Positive Inner Voice
About the Author
Alisa Farina is a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC), a Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC), an EMDR-trained therapist, and the Founder of Growing Minds Counselling and Consulting. She holds a Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology with Distinction, a Bachelor of Arts in Child and Youth Care, and a Diploma in Special Education. With over 30 years of experience in education, youth work, and counselling, Alisa brings deep compassion, insight, and real-world understanding to her writing and her therapy sessions.